I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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