My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
