My Higher Power is John Stamos
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
