i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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