I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
