is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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