Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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