You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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