Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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