Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
