I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
