I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
