It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
