Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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