i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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