Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
