My hand turned me down
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
