that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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