All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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