if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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