What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
