Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
