Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
