you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
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God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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