I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You pole danced in your parka.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
