hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
