she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
