community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize