no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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