His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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