Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize