She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
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"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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