So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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