Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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