I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize