And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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