i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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