i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
