Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have aggressive nipples.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
