But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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