It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
