you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize