My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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