You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
