yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
