you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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