I must be too annoying 4 u.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
