Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
