I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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