I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
