I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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