I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
