so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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