like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
