i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
What drink are we having for lunch?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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