Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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