please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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