I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
